Scott Purdie

Five Things You Can Say At a Social Event

It turns out that lots of people still don't know what to do or how to connect at face to face social events (like conferences or meetups or family parties). I've got a few spins on what's normally said, and how you can navigate those socially challenging waters. If you're stuck for what to say to someone to start a conversation, here are five suggestions. Pick one or two that work for you and practice them.

1. "So, what are you into when you're not hanging out at social events like this?" I use a variation on this often. It lets the person talk about themselves without asking the dreaded, "What do you do?" (I loathe that question. My answer? "I type.")
2. "Do you ever wonder what Adam West is doing right now? Me neither." A non sequitur accomplishes a few things. It sets a level of the other person's sense of humor, their pop culture knowledge, and many other things. Just replace "Adam West" with whatever fringe character you want to use to identify what the person might share in common with you.
3. "I'm always unsure what to say at events like this, so I thought I'd start with 'hi.'" You can't get much simpler than this. It lets the other person know you feel just a hair awkward, but it's straightforward and direct, and lets them know you're hoping to say a few things. Follow this up with, "I'd love to know more about what you're into."
4. "You look like the kind of person who has a different opinion than the mainstream. What's your take on this so far?" This sets yourself up for talking with the kinds of people who always offer the biggest value to your perspective.
5. "What were you doing three years ago?" This one sets a person back a moment. They tend to either answer with a wistful smile or a guarded "who wants to know?" You learn something from this exchange, too.